As I have been reading the posts of the only two friends that I have here on livejournal I realized that I am not really a livejournal sort of person. Not that I am going to leave, but even right now, as I feel like complete crap, but no matter what, I am probably not ever going to write down why I feel like that exactly. I also feel kinda bad because I become greatly antisocial in the summer. Not that I don't love ya'll, I just don't see people. I would love to hang out with paige. I <3 her; srsly, but reading her and Bonnie's posts made me realize how much I don't do anything during the summer. m'oh well.
I feel slightly hurt that bonnie didn't tell me about her angst. That I partially me being selfish...but I was there from the start. Now bonnie, don't go feeling all bad just cuz I said that. It is done and over with, and you can't do anything about it.
I guess part of my not person-ness this summer is due in part to the fact that I am working full time. Yay cleaning up dog shit for 10 hrs straight at $8.00 an hour. I just want summer to suck less. 
I have to work full time. My best friend of 18 years is moving away in aug. My bf is 450 effing miles away. My car has been getting crappy mileage. I don't know what book to read. I just want to be a kid again. I don't want responcibility, I don't want to work, I don't want to have to worry about what I am going to do for grad school. (and I can't even spell)
I am already angsting about going to the right school, and what exactly I want to do. I am a sophmore and I am already nervous as hell about graduating. (how is hell nervous? ..... anyhoo)

now for bitching of a different manner.
I was in the eye doctor place (optomotrist? *attempts*) and this guy walks in and he was wearing a tight black shirt and jeans. He was also carrying a back purse with fake fur trim. My mom *has* to comment about it, saying in a slightly condescending voice "Nice little fur-trimmed purse he has there" basically saying that it was stupid that he was gay. I personally don't give a flying rat's ass if a person is gay or not. So I said to my mom "And?" I don't think she liked the fact that I didn't care. 
Then we were driving home, and there are these people who have a small buffalo statue in their yard. My mom made a comment about it, I said that I liked the small statue, and then she said "with an emphasis on small". I said to her "well, you would say how big and tacky it is if they had a bigger statue. maybe they don't want to be ostentatious (sp srry) with the statue. she didn't like that....oh well.
I love my mom. I do, a lot. But I just think differently than her sometimes...

anyhoo....

I went onto Myspace earlier, and I had posted a few blog things. Unfourtunantly, myspace has been basically slain by facebook, so I went somewhere else. Looking back on those myspace blogs was amusing. There was one right as school started, and then one a few weeks later. (i.e. after I had met Nick). It was interesting to see how I changed over those few weeks. Now here I am a month from the end of my first year of college, when my last blog was a month into college. 
I got my first real c the other week. Not a c on a test, but a c for a class. I cried. It was my fault, but a c still looks bad on a transcript. I went GPA predicting, and am a little better. I can get a c in the current class too and still get a 3.7, even though I have to get A's in everything else. (It is kinda funny, because the only people reading this already know about that up there ^^ .) 
So yay green stuff. It has been soggy and cold for basically the last week, but tomorrow it is supposed to be in the 70's. Stuff is going to grow so much. I am going to wear shorts tomorrow. 
*babbles on about nothing*
Inner thoughts are something I won't write here....least the private sorts....
meh. time to stop procrastinating... ><